Still learning: all advice welcome

[KateInChrist]

I am a new member of this forum and would like to introduce myself.

My name is Kate, I’m a 25 year old athlete who was converted three years ago when I met a member of Opus Dei. She took me to the Twelve Stations of the Cross and I was deeply moved and impressed. I started to pray regularly, and at the suggestion of my friend, I found that it helped my concentration enormously to pray on my knees on a hard concrete floor. I also started to take cold showers every day to try to suppress my earthly temptations and I started to dress much more modestly.

I’ll confess that I found it a real struggle to renounce earthly temptations and from time to time I’d relapse and revert to wearing a micro-skirt and flirting, but each time I did that I felt increasingly guilty and redoubled my prayers. My friend suggested that it might help to sleep on wooden boards with light covers and no heating every time I relapsed, and to double my prayer time. Rather to my surprise I found that this increased the intensity of my religious experience enormously.

I came to look forward to spending hours on my knees, contemplating the Glory of God and seeking His advice for the future of my life.

Last Easter was a turning point. I decided finally to commit my life to my Lord after attending again the Twelve Stations with my friend. I saw tears in her the eyes, and when I asked why, she said they were tears of joy because she had celebrated the Passion of Our Lord by wearing a cilice continuously throughout the Easter period. Her happiness was obvious and my conversion was complete.

Now I am looking for ways to intensify my faith and especially ways to discipline myself against earthly temptations which I still feel far too often. This forum seems to be a very good place to get good advice from people with more experience abd greater devotion than me.

[KateInChrist]

I see that lots of people have read my post, but nobody has yet offered advice despite my prayers. When I got no help last night I went out into the garden in a thin dress and prayed again in the rain and snow while kneeling on a small pile of gravel to intensify my prayers. I thank the Lord that I am young and fit enough to do this sort of thing. I kept it up until 4 am, so I had only one hours sleep on my board until my normal rising time of 5 am.

I felt much better after doing this but I'm not sure it is enough and I still need advice about penitence, and especially about how to resist better earthly temptation, and what penance to do if I fail. My friend has advised me that it would help to wear a cilice as she does regularly herself and she has ordered two for me, so I'll soon find out. If it makes me as happy as she is, it will be worth it.

[Pia]

Welcome, KateinChrist!
I have just read your post, as I have taken a break from the internet over Christmas.
It sounds to me that you are offering yourself to God in penance in the best possible way, and I pray that God will bless you with many graces.
I find an effective penance is to wear a hair shirt (one I made myself from burlap) under my clothes all day, so that it constantly irritates. You might find that helpful, too.
Pax,
Pia
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[KateInChrist]

Pia
I knew my prayed would be answered! Thanks so much for your advice. I shall certainly get myself something made of burlap or hemp. I'm really impressed that you wear it all day. That must focus your mind on God in a wonderful way. Do you wear it every day? As I explained, one of my problems comes from temptation to revert to wearing immodest micro-skirts. I even feel a bit immodest in running shorts now though while I keep up my sports I haven't much option about that. Should I give up my sports perhaps (that would be a real penance in itself)? Should I perhaps have extra mortification each time I yield to temptation?

[Pia]

KateInChrist, only God knows whether you should give up your sport ~ I would certainly pray about it.
I dress modestly, although have not always done so, with ankle length skirts, high necks and long sleeves, even in summer. I use our Holy Mother as my example I would ask, would she have worn revealing shorts?
If you give in to temptation, then a discipline is very helpful in turning ones thoughts to God. I also use the penance suggested by another here of making crosses with my tongue on the carpet.I see they now have a chain discipline on sale on this website, perhaps that would be effective
Pia
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[KateInChrist]

Pia
I can't thank you enough for your help, I felt sure that I could benefit from people here with much more experience than me.

My friend came round this afternoon to deliver the cilice she had promised and found me in running things. I'm so accustomed to run every day that I find it really hard to give it up. Luckily she had the foresight to buy a waist cilice for me, because the thigh sort would certainly make visible marks in running shorts.

My big decision at the moment is to decide whether I have been called to give up sports altogether and devote my life to God. I shall pray tonight for an answer to that and I intend to pray out of doors like last night for as long as it takes to get an answer. If it takes all night, that is God's will. It has snowed again and there is an icy wind, but tonight I shall have the cilice to strengthen my resolve. Please pray for me, that I may get an answer to my questions.

As for your last suggestion. I did take a look at the chain discipline that you were kind enough to recommend, and it looks quite terrifying, even for a woman as fit as I am. I promise that I'll think about of for the future and seek God's guidance on that too. But one step at a time.

Love in Christ
Kate

[ClareFrances]

Greetings in Christ:

I would advise you against giving up your sport especially if you are good at it. Remember the parable of the talents.

I do dress against the seasons as part of my penance--lots of heavy clothes in the summer--lighter in the winter--and I would suggest you give that a try.

Giving up toileting while confined to a diaper is also very humbling and keeps one very aware during the day.

"Lord Jesus Christ have Mercy on me"

Clare Frances

[KateInChrist]

Dear ClareFrancis

It is lovely of you to write to offer advice.

Although I say it myself, I am quite a good long distance runner and that is why I'm finding the decision so hard. I'm happy that you think I shouldn't give it up. The only problem is that your advice is the opposite of Pia's. I was very impressed by Pia when she said "I use our Holy Mother as my example I would ask, would she have worn revealing shorts?". The answer to that is obviously NO, but equally obviously I can't run competitively in a long dress or pants.

I really tried to pray intensively last night, hoping that God would tell me what to do about my dilemma. As I explained, I did as you recommend, aand prayed outside wearing a thin summer dress, above the knee so I could kneel on gravel (but not immodest). It was the first time I'd worn the new cilice and I must say I found it helped the intensity and resolve of my prayer. I suppose I must just keep on asking for guidance from God. I'm sure He will answer eventually.

There is another thing I'd like to ask your advice about. Pia recommended that I should use a 'discipline' as an aid to resisting temptation. I find that idea a bit scary, so I asked my friend amd mentor (her name ia Maria) and she said that she'd found it useful herself, but she wasn't sure I was ready for it yet. On the other hand, I'm young fir and strong and really want to do God's will. CAn you offer me any guidance?

Kate, in Christ

[ClareFrances]

Happy and Blessed New Year

my Husband and i were talking about your quandry with the running shorts and He suggested you try compression tights. Not only would these cover you while you run, but a friend of His who has a Doctorate in Excercise Psysiology and coaches speed/endurance athletes for a living contends that they would give you a performance advantage.

Talent is God given and should not be wasted, perhaps it is a way to bring His light into the world. Perhaps people will question you as to why you are wearing tights while you run and perhaps something you tell them in the course of conversation will change their life.


i will pray that you find the grace to make the decision that is right for you.

"Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me"

[KateInChrist]

Dear ClareFrances and Pia

I’m very touched that you and your husband have taken the time to talk about my problem and to pray that I find a solution. I thought you might be interested in progress (such as it is –not enough yet). I followed your advice and bought a pair of tights to wear an my long training run yesterday. I must say they felt a bit weird after a lifetime of running with bare legs, but at least I did feel a bit more modest. I’m not sure that I could wear them for a tough winter triathlon that I have coming up soon, but I can try. Worse still, I must confess to succumbing to temptation and taking the tights off for the last 10 miles of my run. Your suggestion is certainly helpful, but it isn’t really a long term solution though. I must redouble my prayers to find that and I do that every night. I have no doubt at all that the intensity of my prayers has benefitted enormously from wearing the waist cilice each night while I pray. I already regard it as a thing of beauty and gift from God that brings me closer to him.

Last night I was joined in prayer by my friend and mentor, Maria. She was responsible for my conversion in the first place and her modesty and deep devoutness has been an huge inspiration to me. But she thinks I should give up my sports and devote my life to religion as she has herself. I realised how much more she has progressed than I have last night when I noticed that her cilice was a different design from the one she’d given to me. The barbs on mine are filed flat at the ends, but hers had longer and sharper points that actually penetrated her flesh when pulled tight. When I asked about it she told me that’ she’d started out with a design like mine, but when she spent one Easter at a convent in Italy, for a month of penitence, the nuns had offered her their own design, which they called a ‘crown of thorns’. The nuns made them, and of course used them, themselves. They explained to Maria that their design was inspired by our Lord’s passion she accepted and that she should give thanks for the drops of blood that it produced. Since then she has worn it for prayers every day, and for some longer periods too, at Easter.

Being naïve in these matters, I hadn’t even realised there was more than one sort. Today I read through all the very inspiring posts on this forum and saw the BrMichael had described exactly what I learned yesterday, so advice from him might help me. Maria suggested that since I was young and fit, and desperate to get closer to my Lord, that perhaps I too should be willing to show my devotion by suffering the crown of thorns. Maria is such an inspiration to me that I accepted at once. So tonight Maria has promised to bring me a waist and a thigh cilice of the sort she uses. I’m sure they help me to get answers to my prayers and help me to resist temptations.

Thanks you so much, Pia and ClareFrances. I’m not here yet, but I feel I’m on the right road, at last, thanks to the advice of true servants of God like you two and Maria.