An update and a new dilema:
First the update - In a post above I talked about an exercise involving writing letters of appreciation. Well, one of mine backfired very badly. One of the people to whom I wrote has been angry about the letter.
Before I wrote it, she had said many times to me that no one appreciated how hard she worked. I truly do appreciate her work, so, when I wrote to her, I mentioned several things about how much I appreciate all her hard work. She now says that I only care about her because of how hard she works, not who she is as a person. Nothing could be further from the truth.
I just wanted to warn anyone who might try the exercise. It can turn out very badly.
Now the new dilema: Again, it's about selfishness.
I may have another surgery coming up. My wife doesn't like the surgeon because he was short with her on the phone. I may not have another chance to have this surgery done. There is not another surgeon in town that does this procedure and my insurance won't cover ones outside of my area.
Now I am torn between defending my wife to the doctor and terminating my relationship with him (and therefore canceling my surgery) or keeping quiet about how my wife feels and having the surgery done.
I do need this surgery, but it is not a matter of life or death. I'm only in some occasional pain and suffering some side effects of the medicine I must take because of the problem. Having the surgery would mean no more pain, no more side effects from medicine, and it would eliminate the possibility of the condition getting worse in the future.
Not defending my wife could mean that I lose her and I'm nothing without her. There was a time in the past when I failed to defend her (to a doctor who was rude) and she said if it ever happens again that she will leave me. She is the best thing about me and I love her dearly. I'd rather be in a little physical pain than be without her.
I'm doing my pre op visit today and maybe I am just being selfish to even keep the appointment since my wife dislikes the doctor so much.
I worry that maybe I should just show up to tell the doctor off for being short with my wife. I have prayed a lot but I still don't know what to do.
Please pray for me that I might handle this correctly and not selfishly.
Sincerely, thank you,