Welcome, Sister Rose! It was very inspiring to me, to read of your commitment to a life of prayer and penance. Like many of us here, I often feel very alone and isolated, because so few Catholics would understand my devotional and penitential practices. Discovering this forum a few months ago did much to strengthen my conviction that mortification of the flesh was very much in the sound Catholic tradition, and that this is the way in which I am called upon to atone for my sins.
It is not for me to say if you should use the cilice and discipline, but I will say, for me, they have been powerful instruments of grace. Just the reminder, in whatever form, that I am called upon to suffer for my sins, helps me to keep my mind fixed on the eternal and to avoid worldly thoughts and temptations.
It was very inspiring to read of your praying the Rosary in the rain. Like most people today, I had become used to seeking physical comfort and pleasure, so it wasn't easy for me to adjust to discomfort, even minor discomfort. Since embracing the path of penance, I have learned to renounce physical comfort, to enter into solidarity with the sufferings of our Lord and the sufferings of the poor today. The spiritual rewards have been great. Like you, I have begun to go barefoot whenever the environment permits me to do so unobtrusively. Again, that was difficult for me at first, and very humbling, but it taught me to think of my soul, instead of my soles. I think I understand now why so many religious orders, so many saints, have been "discalced." To be barefoot is a constant reminder of our vulnerability and of our humble status.
As Blue Tit(a kind, learned and pious lady, to whom I am very grateful) said, there has not been very much conversation in this list recently. I'm not sure of the reason. Perhaps that it is summer. Perhaps that many people, even in this kind of forum, still find it hard to speak openly of physical penance and asceticism. Hopefully, having a new voice among us will inspire all of us to contribute more regularly.
Yours humbly,
Elaine, a sinner
Sisterrose wrote:My Dearest Brothers and Sisters,
I am an American woman living in the Philippines. My bishop has taken my vows and I am considered to be a diocesan religious. I live a mostly monastic life, but do teach some classes at my parish. I wear a traditional habit, complete with a wimple. The heat of the tropics, especially in the summer, provides a good deal of natural penance. I must admit, however, that when I read how one of you wears three layers of wool in the summer, I felt quite ashamed for having even ever thought that my thin habit is real penance.
I am quite new to the world of physical mortification, but have felt God calling me to it since I was a child. I have read through all of the entries in the penance forum and feel so blessed for having done so. You have all given me some wonderful ideas for how I can offer penance and bodily mortification to our Blessed Lord. I have a celice and discipline, but my former SD would not allow me to use them. My new SD and I will start working together in the next week or two. I pray God will move this priest to allow me to use them.
One promise I have made to the Lord is that if I wake up in the night and it is raining, that I will get out of bed, go outside in my slip, kneel on the concrete and pray one Rosary. It happened for the first time tonight, and it was such a blessing.
I am going barefoot whenever I am home; inside or out, though I don't know that I will have the courage to do this when I have a guest. I also want to experiment with a hobble at home. I often go three days without leaving, except to go to Mass, so it should work quite well. I just need to be sure I can get up and down the stairs.
I have kept my head shaved for nearly two years now. I keep my head covered unless I am showering. I am presently experimenting with sleeping in my full habit.
As a novice to physical mortification, I welcome your suggestions. I liked the idea of a "penance jar" and have made one for myself. Using this jar, I believe that each morning, God lets me know what specific penance He would like from me.
May God have mercy on me and all poor sinners.
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